National Prevent Teen Pregancy Month is almost a wrap...

... but that doesn't mean that there aren't plenty of smart folks who are going to keep the message alive and going strong.

And if the teens in your life haven't taken the awesome quiz at StayTeen.org, there's still time.

NO damn excuse for this s#@t!

Today, I took brief break from the May-mayhem to get caught up on the state of the world. Man, I should have just stayed ignorant because there's nothing good popping in the news.

North Korea is tripping.

The days of being pregnant and eating a triple fudge sundae with brownie sprinkles and having everyone think it's cute are over.

The economy is still stagnant.

And of course, there's this mess. Now really Mamas, I'm not one to be judgmental. I'm as laid-back and open-minded as they come... but DAMN!!!!

Twenty-nine years old.

Twenty-one children.

Eleven different mothers.

Child support for each child = approximately $1.98 per kid.

What the hell can you buy for $1.98? Besides gum.

"Mommy I'm hungry."

"Don't worry baby. Daddy'll be here soon with your big pack of Juicy Fruit. You just chew real slow."

Talk to me about responsibility. What the hell is on this dude's mind? What's more... the mothers. They're killing me. I don't even know where to begin, aside from lining up all eleven in a row and running down the line with an open-handed smack. I hope those 21 kids are some super-resilient, ultra-determined little rugrats, or that they at least have other relatives with some sense to pick up the slack, otherwise, do any of those children even stand a chance?

Trojans anyone? Ortho patch? Nuva Ring? Depo-damn-Provera??! Hell, withdrawl method??!!! Something! Anything!!!

Call 911! May is trying to kick my ass!

Help! The month of May is officially trying to kill me.

Between moving into a bigger place, little league games, graduations, graduation parties, birthday parties, and weddings, my poor blog has fallen to the wayside. I can hear it gasping for air, thirsty for enlightening information and empowering girl-friendly product recommendations. But alas, I've been too damn tired to even look at a keyboard, much less try to come up with something worthwhile to type into it.

So just a note... Reign will be back with a vengeance very soon. Just lemme catch my breath.

Let's talk about iSHOTs...

… also known as Interesting S*!# that I saw On Television. "Interesting" being interchangeable with "stupid", "embarrassing", or "depressing." You won't find iShots anywhere else on this world wide web, Mamas. Especially since I just made it up. But rest assured, there's nothing better for assessing where we are in our slow-motion ride to hell in a hand basket than a review of the week on television.

Going back on Cali
Miss California certainly is getting a lot of flack for her answer to the gay marriage question, right? I thought the purpose of these contests (other than having a gaggle of tight teenage bodies bounce around in bikinis) was to encourage young women to be confident, which probably includes speaking their own minds. I may not agree with Ms. Cali's view on gay marriage, but I certainly agree with her right to say it. Of course the whole topless thing. That's another story.

Square Butts
I've been pretty quiet about the Burger King/ SpongeBob controversy caused by the "square butts" commercial. You know the commercial where that creepy-ass king dances around with women with square behinds to the tune of Sir Mix-a-Lot's "I Like Big Butts"? Honestly, the commercial is so stupid I had to sit it out. Is it funny? I can take it or leave it. Is it inappropriate? Well, view yonder creepy king taking out a measuring tape to get stats on one girl's butt. Or the end when Sir-Mix-A-Lot reminds us that "Booty is booty." Nice BK… thanks for teaching the Nickelodeon crowd the nuances of judging good and bad asses and the right way to portray women as pieces of meat to be ogled and measured. Good job.

Palin on Pregnancy
How interesting to see Bristol, Baby Trip (or is it Trigg?) and proud grandpa Todd on NBC yesterday morning dancing around the issue of whether or not kids need to be educated about other forms of birth control other than "Don't do it!" Of course, abstinence is the only 100% pregnancy prevention, but Bristol herself admitted not even 2 months ago that it wasn't realistic for many of today's teens. That tune is a-changing now though.

But I'm happy to see her speaking out. It's one thing to get pregnant at a young age, then suck it up and muddle through the trails of being a young parent, it's another thing entirely to say "This is what I did." "It's not a good choice"…."Make a better one." Hopefully kids will learn from her example and take what they need from it.… either you don't do it OR protect yourself! And considering that teen pregnancy rates are back on the rise (after years of steady decline) we need all the help we can get.

You look great, Dad…oh, by the way
Easily the worst commercial ever. Picture it...Middle aged man, struggling to tie his necktie. Says something like, "I never thought I'd be going on job interviews again." Daughter comes in to help with the tie and says something like, "You'll do great dad. Oh and by the way…" hands him a box of hair dye! Real subtle, hon! If my daughter handed me a box of hair dye before I walked out of the house I'd knock the stew out of her (my mother's saying, not mine. And for the record,I've never knocked the stew out of anyone that I know of).

But this weeks best iShOT must go to whoever thought it was necessary to make this news. I can't even remember what I wore yesterday, much less what the FLOTUS wore 3 months ago. If they're short on news, I can give them something to talk about.

The most important test your teen will take

It's that time of year again!

May 6th marks The National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. For the entire month of May teens nationwide are asked to go to StayTeen.org to take a short, scenario-based quiz that asks them what they would do in a number of risky sexual situations. The message of the National Day Quiz is straightforward: Sex has consequences.

The quiz delivers this message directly to teens and challenges them to think carefully about what they might do "in the moment." Leave it to the folks at The National Campaign to create a quiz that's right in line with what's going on today by tackling the issues that kids are really dealing with like sexting and friends-with-benefits.

Like last year, I'll be having my girl-child take the quiz. I take all the reinforcement I can get in helping that child make the right decisions...especially if it's fact-based, down-to-earth, and wrapped up in a cool campaign that kids can't resist. The quiz also has a PDF version that can be printed out and used in group settings.

And for after the quiz and beyond, keep your kid on top of the facts of teen sex and pregnancy rates with Stay Teen's info page. It's jam-packed with brain fuel on abstinence, contraception, myth-busters, tips and more. Everything a teen needs to make good decisions now AND down the road.