A conversation over on Good Enough Mother, got me thinking about the way we raise our children today. One of the moms started a discussion about the infamous snotty 'tween attitude. I know all you Mamas are quite familiar with the symptoms:- the what-eveeeerrr tone
- the I-am-11-years-old-and-I-know-everything smart-Alec reflex
- the eyeball rolling
- and of course the ever present, If-it-doesn't-concern-me,-it's-probably-not-really-that-important-anyway syndrome
This wasn't an issue when I was a preteen. When my mom said "jump", I said "how high?" Of course, I would be thinking some really nasty stuff in my head, but it would never pass my lips; not if I valued my lips... or my life.
My daughter is not outrageously disrespectful or anything, but the child does have a mouth on her. And at times, she doesn't seem to know when to keep that mouth shut, but does that mean that I'm not doing a good job as a mom?
Hmmm......
Well, it's true that I would have never spoken to my mother the way my daughter talks to me sometimes (whether it's playful talk or serious sass), BUT at the same time, I also was never comfortable enough with my mother to go to her when I had big questions or a serious problem. And I had some pretty serious issues as a young teen. I also realize that not speaking my mind (i.e. keeping my mouth shut a little too much) is part of the reason that I had some of those serious issues.
I think my daughter realizes that she can talk to me about anything, because I try to keep our communication as open as possible. I also know that that girl will not have any issues telling her peers, a boyfriend, or anyone else "NO" when she's asked to do something she's not completely comfortable with. So if dealing with a bit of a smart mouth means that she will come to me with real issues or speak her mind even when it's not easy, I'll take it.
Eyeball rolling though....that's a WHOLE other story.
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2 comments:
My son is 6 going on 16. Sometimes the stuff that comes out of hsi mouth makes me want to backhand him. But I haven't. He ges in trouble every time he doesn't think before he speaks yet he still does it. He doesn't behave that way with his fater which makes me insane. All I can do is keep at it. One day it will sink in.
Oh yeah, the desire to invoke the backhand reflex is strong isn't it?
One thing I forgot to mention. Now that my daughter is 15, I don't have to remind her to watch her mouth anywhere near as much I did when she was younger. So the good news is that somewhere along the line, the "I better think before I open my mouth" reflex DOES kick in. Now she'll reprimand her little brother when she thinks his mouth is getting out of line.
It's sinking in, even if you don't see it yet.
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